Charming Students, Stoned Students

Although I am often discombobulated in my interactions with other sentient beings, I want to write this morning about two particular types of students who challenge my expressive abilities: the charming student and the stoned student. Let's take them in reverse order.
(Image lifted from another blog. Original production company is Refugee Films.)

The stoned student is the one who, like Spicolli in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, shows up to class with red eyes, a smile, and problematic thinking processes. The individual may even reek of weed. What do I say to this person when they don't understand the directions I'm giving for an assignment or ask me to repeat something four or five times? I'd love to say, "Hey, email me when you're not baked." Or, even better, I'd like to make my voice do weird stuff like, "We l l l l, the way you do this assignment is that you start by reading this section of the text and . . ." But what if the student isn't stoned? What if the student is just particularly obtuse and has a cold? I don't want to say anything I could get sued for. So, I usually just repeat myself and keep smiling, all the while being annoyed. The good thing is that if the student is stoned or obtuse, they probably won't be able to detect from my body posture or voice how ticked off I am.

The charming student also creates problems for me. Now, I don't mean the attractive student, though sometimes charm and good lucks go together. As a fifty-something character,* I understand the traps of physical attractiveness and know enough not to say or do anything that reveals my inner self screaming out, "WOW, you are smokin' hot! TSSS" That would be incredibly unprofessional and, actually, illegal. So I'm armed against the merely handsome or beautiful. But if good looks are combined with excellent social graces and good communication abilities, or even if the latter two sets of skills are not collected inside a lovely exterior, I will have trouble.

(Picture of Scarlett Johansson borrowed from Celebrity Hair)

The charmer. How do I defend myself against the charmer's use of verbal and nonverbal communication skills? How do I reject the smile, the eye contact, the question asked at the right time, the joking, the self-awareness, the humor, the energy that is intense but not annoying, the sweetness that is sure but not cloying?

Perhaps you're asking, "Why should you reject charm?"

Well, because it has the power to distort clear thinking. If I feel "charmed," I feel a bit as if a spell is being cast on me that reduces the clarity of my vision. I have to start asking myself, "Am I working to understand and accept this student because I am charmed?" Or, it can have the opposite effect. "Am I being too tough on this student because I'm attempting to reject the charm?" So I get confused about how I'm supposed to react, usually because charm works kind of slowly and by the time I'm feeling worked over by its sweet and subtle powers, it's too late to reject my perception of the student as charming.

Definitions of "charm" from Princeton wordweb

• capture: attract; cause to be enamored; "She captured all the men's hearts"
  appeal: attractiveness that interests or pleases or stimulates; "his smile was part of his appeal to her"


• control by magic spells, as by practicing witchcraft


• spell: a verbal formula believed to have magical force; "he whispered a spell as he moved his hands"; "inscribed around its base is a charm in Balinese"


• protect through supernatural powers or charms


• something believed to bring good luck


• induce into action by using one's charm; "She charmed him into giving her all his money"


• (physics) one of the six flavors of quark

So, I guess the moral of this story is that I need to pay more attention to the other six flavors of quark.

* When I was first teaching, however, my immunity was not set. I remember the first young redheaded male I had in a classroom at the University of Utah. He wasn't all that handsome, but he did have even facial features and was slim. Once he came up to talk with me after class and, I swear it, my hands shook. I've always had trouble with redheads.