LY #71 Evolution of an Assignment

Our Student Learning Outcomes (SLOs) for Interpersonal Communication include these:

 4.  Students will recognize that perceptions vary and demonstrate the ability to perform perception checks.
6.  Students will demonstrate active listening through the use of paraphrasing, authentic questions, and reflecting.
8.  Students will demonstrate how to respond non-defensively to criticism.
10.  Students will explain the steps of win-win conflict resolution, including the clear message format for asking for behavioral change.

Over the years I've assessed student abilities in these areas both orally and in written form.  Since the mid-nineties, I've used an interactive method of testing their abilities with active listening, the non-defensive response, and the clear or assertive message format.  In my live classes, I take students one at a time into the hall outside the classroom where I have a very brief conversation with them. While these students are being assessed, the rest of the class is meeting in groups to work on a quarter-long Team Project.

To assess their active listening, I share a real personal problem with them and then listen for them to used the appropriate skills in responding to me, primarily paraphrasing and asking authentic questions.  I don't want them to give advice, even advice hidden inside of a question, so advice-giving assures an automatic "C" in the task.

To assess their abilities in the non-defensive response to criticism, I give them the opportunity to select among a set of possible conflict situations

Conflict situations (pick one and tell Huck which you've chosen):

1. A and B are roommates.  A is upset with B for not doing the chores that have been agreed on.
2. A and B are friends.  B has borrowed three of A's tools and not returned them.
3. A and B are co-workers.  A is upset with B for not getting work done and putting their department in a bad light.
4. A and B are in a small group in a college class.  A is upset with B for not showing up to class for group meetings.
5. A and B are relational partners.  A is upset with B for forgetting their anniversary.
6. Make up your own situation and tell Huck her role.

Once they've chosen a scene, I get myself into character as the person who is upset with them.  Then I start the scene with a raised voice and accusing them of something without clarifying why.  For example, with #1, the most popular scene, I start off by hollering, "[Student Name], you are such a slob!"  After that, the student usually asks, "Why do you say that?"  After which I make up a scenario which displays a lack of commitment to a roommate chore agreement.  Then they are supposed to say something about how they understand why I would be so upset.

For most of this century I've assessed the clear message format during the same interaction as the non-defensive response, so I tell the students to reverse the roles and they use the "good" communication skills to ask me (the slob or whatever) for behavior change.

When I started teaching interpersonal online I tried to get the students to meet up outside of class to test each other on these skills.  It soooooo didn't work.  First, it was difficult to get people to meet.  Second, if a group of four people met, it was typical that two of them hadn't read and practiced the skills until the meeting so they weren't ready to be tested.  That's why I started making two phone calls to each student each quarter, one for the listening skills and one for the conflict management skills.  Sadly, I still needed to review the assignments each time I called and the switch-off in the second call from being the recipient of the critique to being the assertive member of the duo was always difficult to manage.

That's why during this, my last year, I placed the clear message format into a quiz and the past two days have simply been calling up my students and yelling at them! After a friendly greeting ritual (which Monday involved asking about their holidays)  I ask them which conflict situation they have chosen and then say, "Now I'm going to take a moment to get into character as .... your upset roommate" or " . . . your irritated coworker" or " . . . your unhappy relational partner."  Without the long, long introductory explanation the calls are much less like being a telephone solicitor.

Stillshot from Assertive Message

By the way, a couple of years ago I made two Xtranormal cartoons to help with this assignment.  (Oh, how I miss this recently deceased online tool!)  See them at my Doc Huck Youtube site:

Non-defensive response 

Assertive Message Format