YOU LIKE ME, YOU REALLY LIKE ME!

I’ve got to stop whining now. I’ve been susceptible to professional jealousy for years but Friday evening provided me with the medicine I need to alleviate its nasty symptoms.

But I’ll begin on Thursday, May 7, 2009. That afternoon I got a call from my dean, Mary Jeanne Kuhar.

“I hear you’re not going to be at the Convocation tomorrow night,” she said. The Convocation is an administration-sponsored COCC event that celebrates faculty achievement with speeches by the college president and a local newsmaker followed by the presentation of the Faculty Achievement Award. This prize is like being named “Teacher of the Year”. After hearing the accolade, faculty remove their robes and enjoy a no-host bar and free dinner.

I have not been able to attend the Convocation for a few years because it often falls on a Friday night when I’m teaching. This year was no exception.

“Yeah. I work,” I told the Dean. “I sent in my RSVP no show months ago. I’ll be in Redmond.” It was the third Friday of my two weekend Public Speaking Bootcamp.

“We’d really like to see you at the Convocation. It just won’t be the same without you. I mean we really need you. Is there anything I can do to make it possible for you to be there?” Is she offering to find a substitute? To substitute for me herself? I could think of only one reason she would want me to abandon students to be at the yearly gathering. I was getting the award this year. Of course, she couldn’t tell me right out but the smile in her voice let me know.

I assured her that I would not only be there but that I would stay for dinner.

When I hung up I pumped my fist and butt-danced in my chair. “Yes, yes, yes!!!”

I spent the next few hours trying to find a substitute for Friday night. The people I trust to hear and grade twenty-four impromptu speeches – Lilli Ann Linford-Forman, Jon Bouknight, Lou Eckert and Michelle Barry-Franco – were all out of town or busy. Plus, there was the whole problem of the key exchange. So I spammed a cancellation to the class and on Friday morning called everyone who hadn’t replied to the email.

Friday I spent the day working at home and prepping for the evening. I re-dyed my hair to the strawberry blond I’m sporting these days. I went to Costco and bought a Flip video camera. On my way home from Costco, I kept thinking that I needed to go to T.J. Max. I mean, I twice turned in the direction of the Bend River Mall and turned back toward downtown then the third time I made it out to the mall. It took me 15 minutes to find a dress that matched the stiletto-heeled silver sandals I bought at DSW in Eugene last month.

When my friends Stacey Donohue and Mike Van Meter picked me up that evening, I didn’t tell them that I already knew. I couldn’t celebrate until I was officially announced. I sat near the front on the aisle so I could sit the Flip on my lap. After COCC President Jim Middleton spoke warmly about faculty while sharing budget updates and local prosecutor Mike Dugan stood in for his wife Judy Stiegler, offering us a mixed medley of personal reminiscence and praise for education, Kathy Walsh, our Vice President of Instruction started her introduction of the winner of the Faculty Achievement Award. I turned on the Flip.

Even though I knew I was the object of her encomium, I couldn’t recognize myself in her words. She always begins with a build-up, encouraging us to guess who the winner is. (Lots of folks are nominated each year.) She does this very well and I think she enjoys constructing this speech. Friday night she quoted from peer reviews and student evaluations that spoke about someone very serious and dedicated. Could Mary Jeanne have been misinformed? Could this be a moment of mistake? (Stories of mistaken walks toward the Oscar stage flooded my brain.) I couldn’t remember ever reading any of the comments I was hearing. I only remember the criticisms I’ve been given over the years.

Finally, when she got to the part about the winner having “a sense of style all her own, sartorially and in all other ways,” I knew for sure that Mary Jeanne hadn’t made a mistake. So my heart rate went up and I started to sweat, knowing that I’d have to go to the front of the room. Yes, I have TERRIBLE communication apprehension!

On my way up to the lectern, I forgot half of what I planned to say. That wasn’t a problem since I wasn’t supposed to know ahead of time anyway. I just muttered something about Rob McDilda, our dude overseeing COCC’s response to the flu hysteria, calling me that morning to tell me all my students that night had temperatures over 100 degrees and that I needed to cancel class. Then my mind went to, “Yes, dammit, finally!” But I was circumspect enough to avoid saying that out loud.

Then I got the plaque with my name on it. It’s the second one in the 24 years of the award and my name is below those of three people I really like: Michael Gesme (2006), Robert Reynolds (’07) and Stacey (’08), who was in Italy last year when she won. As you can see by these names, I’ve never doubted that the people who received the reward before me deserved it. I just felt that I’ve been around a long time (20 {expletive deleted} years), have worked hard to create a person who succeeds in the classroom, and that, well, yes, okay, by golly, I deserved to win. Perhaps that’s not a very attractive admission. But, hey! I’m human! (And I've got the X-rays to prove it!)

And almost as good as the wonderful things Kathy said about me, is the check for $2500 with the taxes already removed. The remaining two grand will buy my new dog from Seacrest Poodles as well as an outdoor kennel.

Both the VPI and our publicity guy, Ron Paradis, told me stories before dinner about why they realized so late that I wasn’t planning to attend. Something about switched paperwork and big behind-the-scenes last minute panic. It’s all good, though. If I had planned to attend I would have been surprised and wouldn’t have bought my Flip.

I had a great time at dinner, chatting with Dianna Glen, Ken Mays and his spouse, and three science guys, Eddie Johnson, Jim Moodie, and Bob Reynolds. (If you’re remembering the “Lone Gunmen” from X-Files you’d be wrong – my colleagues are all much better looking.) During the evening two folks bought me drinks, so I had Maker’s Mark on ice with my tri-tip beef stroganoff. I got lots of hugs, congratulations, several comments about my silver stilettos and the dress, and got to laugh and go “blue” with those who might appreciate it and not be offended by my love of a certain four letter word.

It was one of those rare moments when I felt like my different selves – Doc Huck, Kake, Karen, the Huckster – were able to be in the same place at the same time.

As we used to write at the end of stories for the Los Gatos High School El Gato, “A delicious meal was served and a delightful time was had by all.”

I Slack While My Small Groups Work Like a Border Collie with a Hundred Sheep

I've been gone so long because I got a horrible sinus infection from my wonderful two day Team Skills Class. At least that's my story. So you didn't get a chance to hear about how some of the groups in my regular Small Group Communication classes fell apart and put themselves back together again. But I'm better now, back to plain allergies -- the constant drip of my response to Central Oregon. So it's time to give out some awards.

The small groups in my two classes have performed their major oral reports and I want to give some special shout outs to teams that had a little something extra.

The award for . . .

Most Artistic Team Video goes to The Dominators
In my afternoon class, this team created a truly amazing and professional looking video, with excellent editing and sound on. They used it to display both situational and task conflict. It opened their presentation and it's fancy opening image displayed throughout. I also enjoyed this team's use of specially printed team t-shirts, even though they said, "The Denominators." Certainly not the common denominators!

Most Creative Study Tools goes to The Out-of-Towners
This morning group printed study notes on the backs of packets of seeds and put the packets in a little pot, putting a pot on each person's desk. They ended their presentation with a return to the seed/growth metaphor as a way of understanding the different methods of negotiation.

Most Lively Presentation goes to Sunshine Posse
These folks started off the quarter with their eye-catching use of yellow shirts as a team solidarity symbol. They kept their shirts and added a tweed sports jacket with a large yellow patch sporting the team name on the back. They took turns shared for the role of "Used Car Dealer" in skits about methods of negotiation. They even had little cut outs of the cars. They combined the skits with a well organized powerpoint that gave a solid overview of the content.

Best Integrated Team Video goes to Just Seven
Ah, the Magic Bullet Blender! This morning team taught us about methods of conflict management using a very fun video focused on making smoothies. The video'd skits were contained within a PowerPoint presentation. I hope to see the skits someday being used as a sales tool for the product (and the team members can remember the class for the $$ it brought them). This team also did a fine job with showing their team solidarity through the use of the bandana. Each team member wore one above a white shirt.

Best Use of Hollywood's Conflicts goes to The Comm. Group
Wow. This afternoon team used clips from The Office, You've Got Mail, and other tinsel town products to illustrate the methods of conflict management. Each speaker wore something that represented Hollywood (dark glasses, pink feather boas, or a t-shirt with the picture of a star). They took so much care with their PowerPoint that the bullets were little film reels. The team showed both solidarity, knowledge, and a desire to keep the audience interested.

Cleverest Management of PowerPoint Animation goes to Team 5
I loved the use of the various types of slide change and line movement used by this team. I was especially amused by the bouncing titles that jumped in from a space outside the frame.

Most Friendly Group goes to Thundercats
This group adapted well to a last minute change and was very willing to go first when a member of the team that was supposed to go first was late. They chose to get ready early in order to save another team from losing points.

Most Thorough Coverage of Important Course Material and Best Use of the Web goes to Conflict Island
I know this group worked hard to learn the material and deliver it with thoroughness and skill. Their presentation was well organized and had everything we might want to know about what conflict is and how it's situational variables impact it. During the quarter they also used a blog to contact each other. They also had a mug made for each team member. It says, I survived Conflict Island. I got one too! So, THANK YOU Conflict Island!