I LUV my Love Class!

This morning the students in Communicating Love (a course that exists in Oregon only at COCC) presented oral reports on their personal beliefs about love. I felt so happy with their sharing, especially the kind remarks from students who recognized the value of others stories about their struggles. A few times one student would thank another for providing insight either from their own lives or in their discovery of a helpful book.

Some examples:

One student talked about how she had learned over the course of the quarter that she wasn't a very good listener but, more importantly, she wasn't a good "talker" -- she didn't like to self disclose. She shared that she blocks connection but that she is planning to do better on this, starting slowly with a bit of self disclosure in safe circumstances. When she was finished another student thanked her for being so open about how she wanted to change.

Another student talked about two books that he had discovered, one by Harville Hendrix and another by Dr. Phil. What he most appreciated about these books was the idea that it's okay to be single and that it's important to get to know and like yourself before you throw yourself into a relationship with another.

Tears were part of a third student's story as she used her daughter-in-law to be as one of her outside sources and talked about how the young woman was teaching her about how rough she'd been on the men she'd been involved with before and had taught her about how women could treat men with kindness. The woman she spoke of, her son's fiance, is also in the class. She talked about her experiences with her very dysfunctional parents and how she had resolved early on not to be like them.

Each student who spoke today had something useful to share. It made me glad, once again, that I teach what I do.

The "Statement of Personal Belief" assignment.

Communicating Love:
Statement of Personal Belief Written and Oral Assignment
10% Oral Report, 90% Written

Aspects of the task:

1. Review what Huck has to say about academic writing at http://khuck.cocc.edu/Essays/default.aspx. Explanations of how Huck grades are on this page.

2. Find two helpful sources about the relationship between romantic love and long-term relationships. These sources may be artistic (short stories, books, movies) or scientific (studies of human experience as reported in magazines). You will incorporate these sources as well as our textbook into your personal statement. You should have a bibliography at the end of your personal statement with all 3 sources.

3. Create a personal statement as either a series of essays or as one long essay. This personal statement should answer the following questions:

How might the relational patterns in your family history set directions for you? (Incorporate descriptions of what you know about parents, grandparents, and siblings relationships and how these might influence you).
How might the interactional patterns of your own childhood influence your current or future love choices? (Incorporate descriptions of two or three actual past experiences.)
Describe any media texts that currently influence your thinking about love and long-term commitment and explain how they influence you. (These may be books, movies, music, television programs, etc.)
What aspects of yourself and your skills do you bring into relationships and will you bring into them in the future?
Describe, with as much clarity and detail as possible, what you hope to experience in your future loving relationships. (Include some description of how you will manage the decline of chemical romance and differences of opinion within the relationship.)

ORAL REPORT (2-4 minutes long) Due anytime during class: June 2-4

Your oral report may cover any of the following aspects of your essay:
Describe the two outside sources you are drawing from and what you have learned from them.
Pick one or two aspects of what you learned about yourself and share them with the class.
Focus on what you are looking for in a loving relationship.

WRITTEN REPORT Due June 11, 1 p.m.

Must make use of textbook and two more sources.
Must have plenty of specific detail.
Must be at least 750 words long.

Self in a Bag

Last week as we focused on perception and self concept, my interpersonal communication class constructed their Self Bags, or Self In A Bag. I've pasted the assignment below.

I was very pleased to discover a high degree of metaphorical thinking in the class. People felt very comfortable with offering symbols rather than simply pasting stuff they like onto their bags. It seems to be a thoughtful class.

To the left you'll see the bag I made for this class.

Self-in-a-Bag

Purpose:
To engage the non-verbal part of the brain
To think about the following issues
Your own self concept
The differences between your perception of yourself and others perception of you.

THREE PART TASK

1. Research:

Ask a few people (friends, family, workplace colleagues) the following questions:
What object or pictures do you think best represent the person I present to the public?
What color would best represent me? If I were an animal, what kind of animal would I be?
Do you think you see me differently than a stranger would? In what way?

2. Creation: Build a “Self-in-a-Bag"
After thinking about what your friends have said and including your own thoughts on the subject, build a self bag. On the outside of the bag glue, tape, or in some other way affix objects and pictures that you believe represent other peoples’ perception of you. DO NOT USE ANY WORDS!
On the inside of the bag put objects that represent your perception of yourself, good and bad, “warts and all.”
The top of the bag may be closed as tightly or as loosely as you desire.

3. Sharing: Tell the class about your bag.
Explain the outside of your bag.
You are not expected to talk about the inside of your bag, but you may if you like.