LY #131 Meeting Ex-Students

They're all over town, my ex-students, though I don't always recognize them. 

Yesterday I had my blood drawn at the Red Cross by a gentlman who recognized me though I didn't recognize him until he reminded me about one of his speeches.  I'd asked him if he'd given a speech about how to draw blood because over the years I've had several phlebotomists or future phlebotomists in my public speaking classes.  He said that no, he'd given a speech on how to make an artificial leg. 

Then I remembered him.  It was the only speech I've had on that topic I've had in almost three decades.  He himself was missing his lower right leg and often wore shorts above the metal foot and calf attached around his knee.   His honesty about his loss as well as his willingness to deal with the squeamishness of others made his speech memorable.  I told him that his energy and humor had helped energize the class itself.  I enjoy students who infect their fellows with positive intensity that helps move the nervous out of speech anxiety.

I also see three other ex-students regularly at my local supermarket.  One of these did not do all that well in my class.  Nevertheless we are friendly.  This may be in part because I make it possible for any student to contest any grade they feel has been applied unfairly.  I have always done my best to manage my teacher-identity and self-present as friendly, reasonable, and open to having my mind changed.  How well I've performed that identity, however, would need to be determined by others.

 Of course the perceived friendliness of former students may be purely because they are friendly to everyone and I'm nobody special to them.  Just somebody that they used to know.

Creative Nonfiction

Last night I was inspired by Greg Lyons' nonfiction class.  Not by their work (I'm not privy to that), but by the reasons they gave for doing that work.

I asked them to talk about the "best thing" about writing but by the time the assignment slid onto the third row, the students were saying "what I like best about . . ." or "what I enjoy about . . ." rather than "the best thing."  Was this because they had an innate or encultured  realization that they couldn't honestly speak for everyone?  Or was it because they've (we've?) grown up in a culture which assumes that the individual is special and, in some consumerist Kantian way, thinks, "I am the measure of all things."

Well, in America, we have the socially and legally negotiated "God-given" right to pursue happiness so why not measure the world like an artist in the movies, forever peering past and beyond an upraised thumb?

from ArtGraphica.net

But back to how they inspired me.  (Yeah, that's a sucky transition.  So sue me.)

They told me that writing was important and enjoyable because it allowed access to the subconscious, provided a way to speak one's truth, provided access to the pleasure of moving characters around, and because they had to.   Sadly, this last has never been my gift.  Unlike the great graphomaniacs -- Isaac Asimov, Joyce Carol Oats, Kenneth Burke, Stephen King -- I don't find writing addicting or soothing.  I find it annoying, difficult, and hard on my lower back.  So, I'll have to go with those students who said that they wrote to tell their truths and to get access to the subconscious.

The question for me is, is this blog the place to do that?

I LUV my Love Class!

This morning the students in Communicating Love (a course that exists in Oregon only at COCC) presented oral reports on their personal beliefs about love. I felt so happy with their sharing, especially the kind remarks from students who recognized the value of others stories about their struggles. A few times one student would thank another for providing insight either from their own lives or in their discovery of a helpful book.

Some examples:

One student talked about how she had learned over the course of the quarter that she wasn't a very good listener but, more importantly, she wasn't a good "talker" -- she didn't like to self disclose. She shared that she blocks connection but that she is planning to do better on this, starting slowly with a bit of self disclosure in safe circumstances. When she was finished another student thanked her for being so open about how she wanted to change.

Another student talked about two books that he had discovered, one by Harville Hendrix and another by Dr. Phil. What he most appreciated about these books was the idea that it's okay to be single and that it's important to get to know and like yourself before you throw yourself into a relationship with another.

Tears were part of a third student's story as she used her daughter-in-law to be as one of her outside sources and talked about how the young woman was teaching her about how rough she'd been on the men she'd been involved with before and had taught her about how women could treat men with kindness. The woman she spoke of, her son's fiance, is also in the class. She talked about her experiences with her very dysfunctional parents and how she had resolved early on not to be like them.

Each student who spoke today had something useful to share. It made me glad, once again, that I teach what I do.

The "Statement of Personal Belief" assignment.

Communicating Love:
Statement of Personal Belief Written and Oral Assignment
10% Oral Report, 90% Written

Aspects of the task:

1. Review what Huck has to say about academic writing at http://khuck.cocc.edu/Essays/default.aspx. Explanations of how Huck grades are on this page.

2. Find two helpful sources about the relationship between romantic love and long-term relationships. These sources may be artistic (short stories, books, movies) or scientific (studies of human experience as reported in magazines). You will incorporate these sources as well as our textbook into your personal statement. You should have a bibliography at the end of your personal statement with all 3 sources.

3. Create a personal statement as either a series of essays or as one long essay. This personal statement should answer the following questions:

How might the relational patterns in your family history set directions for you? (Incorporate descriptions of what you know about parents, grandparents, and siblings relationships and how these might influence you).
How might the interactional patterns of your own childhood influence your current or future love choices? (Incorporate descriptions of two or three actual past experiences.)
Describe any media texts that currently influence your thinking about love and long-term commitment and explain how they influence you. (These may be books, movies, music, television programs, etc.)
What aspects of yourself and your skills do you bring into relationships and will you bring into them in the future?
Describe, with as much clarity and detail as possible, what you hope to experience in your future loving relationships. (Include some description of how you will manage the decline of chemical romance and differences of opinion within the relationship.)

ORAL REPORT (2-4 minutes long) Due anytime during class: June 2-4

Your oral report may cover any of the following aspects of your essay:
Describe the two outside sources you are drawing from and what you have learned from them.
Pick one or two aspects of what you learned about yourself and share them with the class.
Focus on what you are looking for in a loving relationship.

WRITTEN REPORT Due June 11, 1 p.m.

Must make use of textbook and two more sources.
Must have plenty of specific detail.
Must be at least 750 words long.

Charming Students, Stoned Students

Although I am often discombobulated in my interactions with other sentient beings, I want to write this morning about two particular types of students who challenge my expressive abilities: the charming student and the stoned student. Let's take them in reverse order.
(Image lifted from another blog. Original production company is Refugee Films.)

The stoned student is the one who, like Spicolli in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, shows up to class with red eyes, a smile, and problematic thinking processes. The individual may even reek of weed. What do I say to this person when they don't understand the directions I'm giving for an assignment or ask me to repeat something four or five times? I'd love to say, "Hey, email me when you're not baked." Or, even better, I'd like to make my voice do weird stuff like, "We l l l l, the way you do this assignment is that you start by reading this section of the text and . . ." But what if the student isn't stoned? What if the student is just particularly obtuse and has a cold? I don't want to say anything I could get sued for. So, I usually just repeat myself and keep smiling, all the while being annoyed. The good thing is that if the student is stoned or obtuse, they probably won't be able to detect from my body posture or voice how ticked off I am.

The charming student also creates problems for me. Now, I don't mean the attractive student, though sometimes charm and good lucks go together. As a fifty-something character,* I understand the traps of physical attractiveness and know enough not to say or do anything that reveals my inner self screaming out, "WOW, you are smokin' hot! TSSS" That would be incredibly unprofessional and, actually, illegal. So I'm armed against the merely handsome or beautiful. But if good looks are combined with excellent social graces and good communication abilities, or even if the latter two sets of skills are not collected inside a lovely exterior, I will have trouble.

(Picture of Scarlett Johansson borrowed from Celebrity Hair)

The charmer. How do I defend myself against the charmer's use of verbal and nonverbal communication skills? How do I reject the smile, the eye contact, the question asked at the right time, the joking, the self-awareness, the humor, the energy that is intense but not annoying, the sweetness that is sure but not cloying?

Perhaps you're asking, "Why should you reject charm?"

Well, because it has the power to distort clear thinking. If I feel "charmed," I feel a bit as if a spell is being cast on me that reduces the clarity of my vision. I have to start asking myself, "Am I working to understand and accept this student because I am charmed?" Or, it can have the opposite effect. "Am I being too tough on this student because I'm attempting to reject the charm?" So I get confused about how I'm supposed to react, usually because charm works kind of slowly and by the time I'm feeling worked over by its sweet and subtle powers, it's too late to reject my perception of the student as charming.

Definitions of "charm" from Princeton wordweb

• capture: attract; cause to be enamored; "She captured all the men's hearts"
  appeal: attractiveness that interests or pleases or stimulates; "his smile was part of his appeal to her"


• control by magic spells, as by practicing witchcraft


• spell: a verbal formula believed to have magical force; "he whispered a spell as he moved his hands"; "inscribed around its base is a charm in Balinese"


• protect through supernatural powers or charms


• something believed to bring good luck


• induce into action by using one's charm; "She charmed him into giving her all his money"


• (physics) one of the six flavors of quark

So, I guess the moral of this story is that I need to pay more attention to the other six flavors of quark.

* When I was first teaching, however, my immunity was not set. I remember the first young redheaded male I had in a classroom at the University of Utah. He wasn't all that handsome, but he did have even facial features and was slim. Once he came up to talk with me after class and, I swear it, my hands shook. I've always had trouble with redheads.