15 Feminist Finale

My last lecture (ever!) in the Philosophy of Love class was on three feminist readings in our textbook:  selections from Emma Goldman, Simone de Beauvoir, and Shulamith Firestone.  I began with my usual schtick of asking, "How many of you are feminists?" and getting a small showing of hands followed up by two questions that get everyone's hands up.  "How many of you believe women should vote?"  "How many of you believe a woman has the right to her own earnings?"  And then I tell them they are ALL feminists.

The discussion this time, however, just made my heart glad.  There was one man, father of a 16 year old girl, who said that he wanted her to grow up strong so that she could take care of herself.  Others talked about valuing equal relationships in love and appreciating what the feminists had to say about that. 

I remembered back to my early years at COCC when I was very pushy about people calling me Ms. if they used my last name.  Then I realized that I was being perceived as authoritarian and bitchy -- setting an unhappy and combative tone the first day.  So I gave up that fight and simply asked for them to put Professor or Doctor in front of my name, if they needed to give me a title.

I'm proud of the work I've done over the years in the love-education courses, Philosophy of Love and Communicating Love.  I hope and believe I've given those students who paid attention a larger view of the concept of love and also some tools to withstand some of the seductions of romance. 

On Tuesday I focused on Existentialism and a reading from Being and Nothingness about the conflict inherent in love -- that as we love we seek to devour the freedom of the other that makes our freedom possible.  This quarter we've had several good discussions about the problem of love versus duty -- is it possible to love someone if one is "supposed to" do so?  I hadn't seen so clearly before how the reading the textbook offers from the letters of Heloise has some of the same criticism of marriage as that offered several centuries later by both Emma Goldman and Jean Paul Sartre.  These are the opinions I held when I was swearing to my sister, in August 1973, that I would never get married.  And a few weeks later I was.  And I still am.

דער מענטש טראַכט און גאָט לאַכט

• Der mentsh trakht un Got lakht.
• Man plans and God laughs.